The Unlikely Meditator: My Journey from Restlessness to Reflection + VIDEO
It’s funny how some of us start our wellness journeys from a place of absolute chaos. I was never the person you would find sitting quietly in a room, eyes closed, legs crossed, breathing deeply. No, not at all.
In fact, 10 years ago when I tried my first guided meditation, the mere idea of sitting still seemed impossible to me—a concept as alien as skydiving without a parachute. But I told myself to give it a try! So 5 minutes it was in the beginning. Something inside me was just telling me, that this is the place to get answers! Years later, I did!
I cannot “make” myself meditate!
It’s a similar situation where I cannot make myself fall asleep. I can just create the situation that helps me fall asleep. Mediation is similar. It is effortless state that can arise only if I have trained myself to sit still.
I can only make myself concentrate!
The Beginnings of Restlessness
I still vividly remember my first guided meditation session. There I was, in a softly lit room, surrounded by serene faces that seemed to know some profound secret to inner peace that I didn’t. As the instructor’s calm voice filled the space, instructing us to close our eyes and focus inward, my mind did everything but that. Thoughts raced through my head like a busy freeway: grocery lists, deadlines, that awkward conversation from three days ago—everything came to visit.
The Discovery of Concentration: Pratyahara
It was during these early days of struggle that I learned about Pratyahara, the practice of drawing inward from the buzz of daily life. This was my first step: learning to disconnect from external distractions. At first, it was just a few seconds of silence in my mind before the thoughts came rushing back. But those few seconds were my gateway.
Deepening the Focus: Dharana
As I practiced more, those seconds turned into minutes. I learned about Dharana, deep concentration, focusing on a single point or idea. It was here I realized I wasn't meditating yet; I was learning to concentrate! This was an essential skill, honing my ability to control where my attention went. I began to appreciate this deep focus, the precursor to true meditation.
Embracing Meditation: Dhyana
After what felt like a lifetime of practice, I finally began to understand Dhyana, or true meditation. This wasn't just concentration; it was an entirely different state of being. An awareness that felt like floating in a sea of tranquility, where the waves of my thoughts didn't disappear but didn’t disturb the waters either. This stage I don´t reach often! Yet! But when I do, it’s just beautiful!
My Seven Steps to Sitting Still
Started Small: I began with just 1-5 minute of trying to sit still, gradually increasing the time as you get comfortable.
Created a Dedicated Space: Having a specific spot in your home for meditation can psychologically prepare you to transition into a state of mindfulness.
Guided Sessions: Initially, guided meditations were invaluable. They taught me how to structure my thoughts and use my breath (pranayama) as an anchor.
Regular Practice: Consistency is key. The more regularly I meditated, the easier it became to slip into that tranquil state. I had the goal that I do it at least 4 times a week to start with. Later added some more time to it!
Patience: I learned to be patient with myself. Every day is different, and so is every meditation session.
Educate Yourself: Reading books and resources on meditation gave me deeper insights and motivated me to continue. One of my favorite books is this one: The Three Pillars of Zen: Teaching, Practice, and Enlightenment Paperback – February 27, 1989 by Philip Kapleau Roshi.
Reflect and Journal: After each session, I took a few minutes to journal what I felt and learned. This reflection helped solidify the experience and showed me my progress over time.
A Journey, Not a Destination: Embracing the Cliché Because It’s True
I share this not to instruct, but to inspire. If you’re like me—impatient, easily distracted, thinking meditation isn’t ‘for you’—I encourage you just to try. Not to fight the process but to flow with it. Meditation, I’ve learned, isn’t about becoming someone new. It’s about discovering the quiet that already exists within you and embracing it.
Even though I have done yoga teacher training for guided meditation as well, I still believe that meditation is still a journey for me, one where the path is as rewarding as the destination. And along this path, I’ve found a surprising truth: the peace isn’t just in the moments of stillness; it’s in every moment of awareness along the way.
Try this and hopefully you can find it useful! :)
Resources:
"The Three Pillars of Zen: Teaching, Practice, and Enlightenment" by Roshi Philip Kapleau
"The Yoga Sutras of Patanjali" - Translation and Commentary by Swami Satchidananda
"Wherever You Go, There You Are: Mindfulness Meditation in Everyday Life" by Jon Kabat-Zinn
